Thursday 23 April 2009

Dear God, Please make me Popular

Just read an article in a local magazine that goes on to say, "Well it's official...atheists are flibbertigibbets." Flibbertigibbets? Whatever that means.

Thanks to trusty Wikipedia, it tells me a flibbertigibbet is
  • a Middle English word referring to a flighty or whimsical person, usually a young female.
  • in modern use, it is used as a slang term, especially in Yorkshire, for a gossipy or overly talkative person.
  • also a historical use as a name for a fiend, devil or sprite. such as in Shakespeare's King Lear, he is one of the five fiends.

So with that being said, atheists are flighty, gossipy devils. Hmmm sounds about right.

According to the article a new study has just discovered that atheists are more likely to panic under pressure than Jesus Freaks or any other religious people. The tests were conducted in Toronto, so although it was only surveyed on a small number of people, there was still substantial evidence. The tests were conducted on people of various religions and the results were consistent across the creeds.

People of faith have strong beliefs and obviously that certitude is going to keep them more calm. I mean, if you bury your head in the sand far enough, you won't see all the horrible things going on around you. Right?

The article goes on to say atheists don't live as long, that they are most likely to die from a heart attack, and that they even don't have as many friends. How depressing. Maybe it's because God hates them?

Just like how God made lactose intolerant, even though I am obsessed with cheese. Sigh I am simply going to take a deep breath and offer a prayer and maybe all my troubles will fade away. And hey....maybe I'll make some more friends while I'm out it.

This also reminds me of a Regina Spektor lyric,

All the non-believers,
They get to eat dirt.
And the believers,
get to spit on their graves.

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